5 Ways to Deal with a Mean Girl

193There is no escaping her. She appears in kindergarten taking your toys and sticking her tongue out at you. She is there in middle school trying to act like a queen, treating you like her court jester. She is even there in your first job pretending that she had all the brilliant ideas, trying to sabotage your corporate climb. What we are saying is – you will never escape a mean girl. They unfortunately will always be in your life. However, there is a way to curtail her behavior and possibly even change her evil ways…

1. Identify the “mean girl” behavior triggers:

Is she nice to you when it’s just the two of you, but mean when her friends are with her (meaning she is dying for acceptance herself from those fake friends)?
Does she approach you at a certain time or specific place (try to figure out the trigger behind that)? Is her cruelty directed towards your appearance, mannerisms, or your personality and character (she is most likely jealous of one of those traits)?

2. Stop the “mean-girl” behavior before it happens.

Avoid them. Stay out of the areas (if possible) where the mean girl(s) hang out. Change your routine—get your books out of your locker at different times for a few days. Don’t sit at the same table at lunch. Avoid their section on the bleachers. Ignore them. The best thing you can do is to not engage them in conversation, especially if you are being made fun of. Any inkling of a response from you, even yelling at them, is attention. And negative attention is sometimes just as satisfying to them – almost like a reward – because they were able to STILL push your hot button.

3. Kill the mean girls with kindness.

Be nice. When you have a chance to do something thoughtful for someone who is mean to you, it confuses them. This is the best revenge (and solution)! Speak gently. It’s hard to yell, or be nasty, to someone who doesn’t rise to the occasion and yell back. The softer your voice, the more the other person has to quiet herself to hear you. Plus, the person talking the loudest usually looks the stupidest.

4. Team up.

There is strength in numbers. It’s easy to pick on someone who’s alone, but if you’ve got a friend who is willing to stand beside you, chances are your mean girl will back off. And even if your friend might receive some nastiness as well, while unfortunate, it’s always best to have someone by your side. If you’re not sure who will stand by you, look for someone else who gets picked on. Chances are you’re not the only target. You may find a great new friend who completely understands what you’re going through.

5. Speak up.

If your actions aren’t stopping the meanness, simply tell the girl or girls to stop. Sometimes confronting a bully is enough to make their behavior mitigate, or stop altogether. If that doesn’t work, it’s time to get an adult involved. Especially if you’ve been threatened or physically assaulted.


Written ByMindy Black, CEO of Feisty Girl & Inner Beauty Skin Care


About the Author:

Mindy Black’s childhood years were plagued by extreme bullying, insecurities, and self esteem issues. Overcoming this dark time by making a commitment to love herself, Mindy found her passion and launched her results-driven skin care clinic, Inner Beauty Skin Care Inc., in 2006. The name, Inner Beauty, stems from Mindy’s desire to empower women first, so that the outside is a reflection of their true beauty. To combine her love for skin care and desire to promote self-confidence in young women, Mindy also created Feisty Girl, a program that provides young girls who are transitioning into adulthood with healthy skin care regimens along with empowerment and self-confidence. The Feisty Girl program has been featured on several broadcast news channels including FOX35-Good Day Orlando and Central Florida News Channel 13.

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